She and the other mom clicked, and the other mom was happy to watch her baby for a few days a week alongside her own infant. In my b*feeding group that met with our newborns, another mom found her part-time childcare that way. If you really want a part time nanny, you may find a family that is willing to do a nanny share if you talk to other nannies.Īnother approach is to potentially ask a stay at home mom to watch your child. Most of the nannies in my community know each other and you may find a nanny through word of mouth. If you happen to be out and about with the baby and meet some good nannies over your leave, be sure to talk with them. That way they can notify you if a potential good fit comes up early, such as a nanny who knows she will lose her job due to a planned change in her family (such as the mom staying home after the birth of a third child or whatever).
CONTOURS BITSY COMPACT FOLD STROLLER VS BABY ZEN YO YO FULL
Being both the full time caregiver and worker is a lot, and there really isn’t time in the day to run laundry, pick up groceries, etc.Īre you working with a nanny placement service? If so, I think you could contact them early, say September, to give them your timeline and discuss the process. So if your spouse is working a 9-5 at the same place every day, it might be possible to work while the baby sleeps and log back on after you get home… But I will also say, gently, that if you go the route of having one parent be both full time worker and stay at home caregiver, lower your expectations about household chores. We had already lined up a nanny share (about a month before baby was born) for part-time short-time, and then had to scramble for daycare (we ultimately landed on nanny share for 4 weeks, then daycare 3 days a week and home with Dad or Grandparents 2 days a week, FWIW.) For my DH, the problem was that his schedule isn’t the same from day to day, as he meets clients on site, has multiple clients, etc. One day convinced him otherwise, but like Irish Midori said, I had to let him do it and figure it out. He, too, thought he could be the self-employed freelancer consultant writer full time AND be a full time stay at home dad. On day 1 of my return to work (at 8 weeks, bc I had just started a new job), when I got home, DH said, I can’t do it.
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(Full disclosure–we did a share for a year like this where we were the 5 day a week family and the other family had a similar situation where grandma committed to 2 days a week–but needed the flexibility to sometimes have 4 days or 5 days a week of care–it worked out awesome for all involved)
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This would give your MIL and husband the option of occasionally traveling or being sick or otherwise not able to watch the baby (after all–I think your skepticism over your husband’s ability to work from home and also watch your baby is well placed–especially as your baby becomes older and naps less and less). It’s easier to find a nanny looking for fulltime and if you could find another family that needs 5 days a week, you could then have a rate you pay most weeks for 3 days shared with that other family (with a rate negotiated of what you pay should you need 5 days a week or 4 days a week). Looking for advice or experience from anyone who put up boundaries regarding their kid’s birth.Īlso, just another idea: would you consider a share situation? I think that is what I would do if was my other-two-day-of-the-week-plan. IMO, you don’t get to pick and choose being part of a family – you don’t get the fun parts like a birth if you want to avoid responsibility for the harder parts like commitment to your aging spouse. I appreciate that he’s going to therapy like we asked, but it doesn’t feel like enough. We’re debating not allowing him to come to the hospital when kid 2 is born. It feels very midlife crisis (but at an older age). Throughout this he’s made comments like he deserves to be happy and he wants to travel and do things he can’t do with my mom. We appreciate that he’s taking steps we’ve asked him to take but remain mad that he’s just decided to abandon his frail spouse in their 70s.
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At our urging, my dad has started to see a therapist and claims to have stopped seeing the woman. My mom is somewhat physically handicapped so in addition to this being emotionally devastating it’s also frustrating as it places a burden on us. A few weeks ago my dad told me he was leaving my mom and their 50 yr marriage for a woman he met two weeks prior. We’re close to my family – we live very close and have family businesses tied up together. I’m scheduled to deliver kid 2 later this week. This is a crazy question that I never thought I would be asking, but I value all of the input here.